...and watched Esther Earl on her YouTube channel. And looked at photographs. And watched vlogbrothers videos of John Green in Amsterdam, and loving Amsterdam, and visiting Amsterdam X-amount of times on video, particularly featuring The Yeti and even Henry somewhere, and fragile tulips, and excited Nerdfighters.
And I copied parts of The Fault in Our Stars for my Serious Prose Interpretation piece, and found that there was no way I could do the story justice, not in the slightest, without being an incredible actress, and having some sort of personal experience to the book and its many life-ly subject matters.
And so it goes.
I can hardly write anything coherent, since finishing TFiOS on Sunday. I just... there is no possible way right now. I want to end up like John Green, but I'm also this non-infinite thing, this person who is an extra in God's movie, 2/5 of a second my life is... (that metaphor was stolen from Francis Chan's crazy love). And here I am, attempting. I'm inspired to do a lot of things, but I'm also sort of swimming in this strange pool of fog and emotion and going up and down, and I don't know why, but I do have a packet for my church's counseling center coming. And I'm trying, but not really. I don't know what's up.
I just want to glorify God, really. And I want to let go of the many things I grasp so hard, even though they give me rope burn (metaphor stolen from a Beliefnet article about Letting Go as a Buddhist principle...). And... I just... there's a lot on my mind. I should go to bed.
But I probably won't.
And I copied parts of The Fault in Our Stars for my Serious Prose Interpretation piece, and found that there was no way I could do the story justice, not in the slightest, without being an incredible actress, and having some sort of personal experience to the book and its many life-ly subject matters.
And so it goes.
I can hardly write anything coherent, since finishing TFiOS on Sunday. I just... there is no possible way right now. I want to end up like John Green, but I'm also this non-infinite thing, this person who is an extra in God's movie, 2/5 of a second my life is... (that metaphor was stolen from Francis Chan's crazy love). And here I am, attempting. I'm inspired to do a lot of things, but I'm also sort of swimming in this strange pool of fog and emotion and going up and down, and I don't know why, but I do have a packet for my church's counseling center coming. And I'm trying, but not really. I don't know what's up.
I just want to glorify God, really. And I want to let go of the many things I grasp so hard, even though they give me rope burn (metaphor stolen from a Beliefnet article about Letting Go as a Buddhist principle...). And... I just... there's a lot on my mind. I should go to bed.
But I probably won't.
No comments:
Post a Comment